Kankers!
by Fangirlin'124
Summary: After a simple graduation party, the Eds find themselves at the Kanker's trailer, where the girls are determined to make the boys want to marry them, and not let them escape! But will it really be that simple? Well, read, my friends, read! Rated M for alcohol, some bad language, and adult content. EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH SEX IS AT THE LEGAL AGE
1. Nazz's Pool Party

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Nazz's Pool Party**_

The air was thick and humid as three young friends all approached the house of the most popular girl in school and the cul-de-sack they lived in. She was throwing a party for their high school graduation, and the boys were thrilled that they were invited.

The shortest of the three then started laughing.

"What's so funny, Eddy?" Double D, the brainy, frail framed boy asked.

"Nothin'," Eddy snickered.

Double D sighed, knowing better than to continue questioning him. They had spent twelve long years together, so they had all gotten each other pretty well through all they had been through. However, it didn't keep him from wondering what was going on in Eddy's head.

Of course, it was normally very easy to know. Money, scams, and jawbreakers. There were few moments when even Ed couldn't read him. Tonight was one of those rare moments. Though, it would all fall together later, and it wouldn't be pretty. Double D just knew it.

"So, what are we gonna do when we get to the party?" Double D asked, wanting to break the silence that had fallen between the three.

"I think we are going to see Rolf, and his chickens." Ed giggled, smiling.

Eddy smacked his forehead. "No, Ed. We're gonna party!"

"Well, clearly, that's why it's called a party, but-"

"We're going to probably have some good drinks, if ya know what I mean." Eddy snickered. "Some classy liquor, probably taken from Kevin's dad."

Double D fell silent, staring at his friends, who continued to talk about the different types of alcohol the party would be serving.

"You mean, there will be adult beverages?" Double D questioned, his tone irritated. Eddy groaned, waiting for a lecture. "But, but, but, we're still minors! The last thing we should be doing is drinking! Why, you two should be ashamed of yourselves, you'll ruin your livers! My, my, I can't believe this, since when did you two even drink?"

"Since Jonny's birthday party. You were out of town." Eddy said quickly, wanting to hurry up, especially since they were already up to Nazz's door. The short boy quickly motioned for Ed to knock on the large piece of wood.

It was opened quickly, and Kevin's familiar face morphed from one of relaxation to one of irritation.

"The dorks are here!" He shouted. He heard another shout from another room, then he opened the door wider. "Get in here, hurry up!"

The trio all filed in quickly, wanting to avoid a fight on such a wonderful evening. Kevin told them that the party was in the newly installed pool in the backyard. Then the boys stopped cold, as they didn't have swimsuits. They awkwardly shuffled towards the sliding door in the back and stood in front of the pool, looking around as if they were in desperate need of help.

"Hey, what's wrong guys?" Nazz asked. "Why aren't you in your swimsuits?"

"We forgot them at home…" Ed admitted after a minute of silence.

Nazz giggled a bit, then climbed out of the pool, walking towards them, giving the boys a full look at her matured body in the bikini she had apparently just bought for the occasion. It took a lot of willpower not to completely lose their minds before she wrapped herself in her towel. She motioned for them to follow her into the house, and then she lead them to the bathroom.

"Wait, why are we here?" Eddy asked, her spell on him wearing off.

"Well, you don't have any swimsuits, and I don't have spares, so, you're going to have to swim in your underwear."

All of their faces turned red, but Double D nearly fainted.

"Surely there's something else we can do?" He asked, practically begging. Nazz sighed sadly and shook her head. "Oh, dear…"

Meanwhile, Ed was stripping off his jacket and Eddy his shirt. Double D stared at them with wide eyes. The two didn't return his look, but continued to strip until they reached their boxers, which were thankfully colored. Nobody bothered to mention the tattoo of a boat on Ed's back, as they were thankful his acne cleared up.

Then, dawned in nothing but their underwear, Ed and Eddy strolled out of the bathroom and out to the backyard, where the party was. Nazz gave a small smile to Double D, who was shaking and sweating enough to fill another pool.

"How about I leave you to undress yourself?" She said, backing out of the room and closing the door as well.

Double D then tried his hardest to reason with himself, because he knew that Ed and Eddy were going to get the best of him, and tempt him into joining them. He also had to stop shaking, because he was thinking about Nazz seeing him in his boxers. His imagination was running as wildly as Ed's with that thought.

Swallowing hard, he began to strip. As his clothes fell to the floor, he put them into a neat pile, and placed him into a nearby empty plastic bag, which he hung on the door handle. He didn't want his clothes all over the floor, who knows what's been on it! He then opened the door slowly, looked around, and quickly dashed to the above ground pool, his cheeks paling the vibrancy of cherries.

Eddy looked up at him from his position next to a rubber duck floaty and grinned. He swam his way to the embarrassed teen, and told him to lean in close. Double D did so, cautious of what his friend might do.

"Hey, Double D, I need to tell ya something." Eddy muttered. Double D leaned in closer, trying to hear. Eddy grabbed his hat quick, in which Double D grabbed the sides in response just as fast. "Think fast!" Eddy yanked him into the water, making everyone in the water laugh.

When Double D surfaced, he was coughing and hacking up water, hanging over the edge, spitting the excess water into the grass. Eddy was laughing hard enough to hurt himself. When Double D turned to look at him, he was furious, and was about to yell at him when he had a bottle shoved into his hand, and it was something he recognized right away. He moved it away from his face and stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"What? It's just beer," Johnny said with a small laugh. "It isn't that bad."

"Yeah, c'mon Double dork, lighten up," Kevin snickered. He knew what beer tasted like and was eager to see the nerd's reaction to it.

Double D sighed heavily, knowing full well that this particular alcohol wasn't the most delectable, but he knew that Eddy would probably force it down his throat anyways. So, with a hard swallow and a deep breath, he took a swig of the drink, he was surprised to find that it wasn't all that bad. He actually took a bigger drink the second time. He then downed the rest of the bottle in his third drink.

Eddy stared at him wide-eyed. He didn't know that Double D would be this into the taste. He thought it was bitter, but he still drank it because it was a graduation party and that's what you do at graduation parties. He then got another beer for his friend, who chugged it down with ease.

"How did you do that, Double D?" Nazz asked, amazed. "I can't even make it through one. I gotta drink the lighter stuff." She held up a can of strawberry flavored beer.

Double D laughed and blushed again. "Oh, it's nothing. I actually don't find the taste to be all that bad, and it actually isn't too stro-"

The boy's head slammed back against the wall of the pool his back had been resting against and he passed out. Eddy began to crack up, and called out for Ed.

"What is it Eddy?" the large boy asked.

"Mr. Macho here just passed out, would you be a dear and lay him on a lawn chair or something?" Eddy requested, holding back his fits of laughter, which he was sharing with the other boys that had showed up. Nazz looked worried and asked Eddy if he was going to be okay.

"Of course he will, it's just his first time drinking." Eddy chuckled with a shrug. "Speaking of drinking…" he snatched another bottle from one of the coolers nearest to him. "...let's get back to that, shall we?"

Nazz then smiled and agreed, getting another bottle herself, and a few others for the ones who asked for it. They all began to joke and laugh and drink more and more, the bottles soon piling up on the deck. Ed was becoming really drunk, as he was speaking in full and complete sentences that made sense. Though, they didn't last long before he too fell asleep, dragging himself onto a lawn chair.

Eddy held out the longest before saying he had to take the two "sissies" home. He said goodbye to everyone then grabbed his best friend's feet, dragging them off of the chairs and out of the house, forgetting their clothes. As he walked down the road of the cul-de-sack, in his drunken state, he managed to completely miss their house and travel down to the trailer park, and right to the Kanker's doorstep.

He then collapsed and fell alseep on one of the steps leading to the door, but not before ringing the doorbell. They all then formed into a strange looking monster, their bodies stuck in uncomfortable positions.

The Kanker sisters then sat up in the bed they all shared, looking at one another.

"Who rang the doorbell?" May asked, bringing the blanket they were all using up to her nose to shield herself. "You think it's a psycho?"

"Of course not, you moron!" Marie groaned, hitting her sister in the back of the head. "Lee, why don't you be useful for once and go see who it is?"

Lee would have said something harsh in response, but she was far too tired. She just growled and kicked the blanket off of her and stumbled out of bed.

"This is your only free card, Marie," she muttered, walking down the stairs into the living room and to the door, grabbing a bat on the way.

As she cautiously opened the door, she found the gold mine. Her boyfriend and his friends!

"Who is it?!" Marie shouted from upstairs.

"Oh, no one…" Lee shouted back. "Just our boys!"

The other sisters ran out of the room, down the stairs, and to the front door, gazing at their beloved "men." Then they all scrambled to get their preferred boys, Ed to May, Double D to Marie, and finally, Eddy to Lee. Eddy, however, was gaining consciousness, and what he saw...oddly...didn't scare him. He just went along with it, not _exactly_ sure where he was.

Lee noticed this and decided to have some fun with his current ailment. Eddy just snuggled into her bridal-style hold, not knowing he was nuzzling his way into Lee Kanker, his very own extreme admirer. But, at the moment, he didn't care. He just wanted to sleep.

However, this was the last thing Lee had in her mind.

_**End of Chapter 1**_


	2. Lee?

_**Lee…?**_

Edd groaned as he was placed on a couch, it's soft lumps caressing him into slumber. However, something kept waking him up, and he looked up as angrily as he could at the thing keeping him awake. The view he got, though, was one that was quite difficult to ignore. It was Lee Kanker, straddling him, her shirt and pants removed, revealing her body, which, at that moment, was quite enticing.

"Hey Eddy…" she whispered, though her voice made that quite difficult. "How are ya?"

"I-I'm, uh, I'm…" Eddy stuttered, swallowing hard. "I'm doin' pretty good. H-how about yourself?"

"Oh I am doing great…" Lee laughed, slamming her hands on either side of Eddy's head, and lowering her head down near his. "Especially since you and your friends were passed out in front of our door. It was like a blessing."

Eddy then made it a note to pass out drunk at the Kanker's again, because this was becoming quite the treat. He didn't even think about the fact that he was still heavily intoxicated, and that he wasn't in his right mind at the moment, but about the fact that there was a girl _on top of him,_ in the sexiest pose he'd ever seen, especially in his magazines.

"Aw, man, Lee…"

Lee moved back for a moment, a bit shocked. Eddy propped himself up on his elbows, confused.

"What?" He asked, his voice slurring. "Is it somthin' I said?"

"No, well, actually, uh..." Lee was nervous, messing with something behind her back. "Look, let's just get this started, okay?"

"Wait, wait, Lee, what's up?" Eddy's eyebrows furrowed, some of the blood returning to his head from downstairs.

"You, well, you remembered my name. I thought you forgot it."

"Why would I forget?"

"Because of the running and hiding and screaming. You're always trying to get away from me. I just…" she stopped and moved back entirely, scooting away from Eddy and leaning her back against the other side of the couch, bringing her knees to her face, covering even more of what her hair always did. "I just thought you'd forgotten who we are besides 'Kankers,' ya know?"

Eddy then sat up entirely, now noticing that all of his clothing was gone. besides his boxers, which were damp He pointed to himself, silently asking if she had undressed him, and she shook her head. He muttered 'weird' to himself and then they just sat there, no words being spoken between the two. Wanting to break the ice, Eddy thought of something that he knew would bring Lee back to, well, Lee.

He got on all fours on the couch and crawled the small distance from his end of the couch to hers. When he got to her, he gently put his hands on her legs, requesting that they be moved. Lee gave a small smile and obliged, slightly wrapping her legs around Eddy's waist, though it was somewhat difficult considering their height difference.

Despite this, Eddy still was inching closer and closer to Lee, grinning and even growling a bit, like an animal. Lee was just giggling and laughing. When Eddy was close enough, he took one of his hands and lightly grasped her chin, pulling her lips closer and closer to his own, then finally bringing them together. It was such a small kiss, so gentle, but it still drove them both insane.

Lee then tackled Eddy, straddling him again, this time a little closer to home. He bit his lip before pulling her down and kissing her again, this time a little more intensely, tongues getting involved. The two were trapped in a moment they wouldn't have expected. But, for some reason, it just made it better. As Eddy struggled to figure out the curse of Lee's bra clip, she continued working his mouth.

Eddy then became frustrated, and even pulled away from Lee just to yell and growl at the strap. Lee started to laugh, hard enough that she was snorting.

"Do you need help with that, Eddy?" Lee giggled.

"No, I got it!" Eddy growled back. "Ugh...stupid...fucking...clip! Why won't it...open?"

"Eddy, let me get it." Lee said, holding back a few more laughs. She sat up, trying to keep all of her weight off of her small lover, and unclipped the bra on the first try. Eddy sat, his mouth wide open, then he reached for the bra that was resting in Lee's hand, waiting for torment, and tore it apart with his teeth in rage.

"Stupid fuckin' thing!" He shouted, but then was yanked back into reality by Lee grabbing his chin and pulling it to her and her exposed breasts. He swallowed the lump building in his throat, unsure of what to do. "Uh...help?" He pleaded, forming puppy eyes.

Lee smiled, a gentle smile he had never seen before, and took his hand in hers. It was surprisingly soft, and it led him to one of the soft mounds on Lee's chest. She didn't have large breasts like Nazz; not by a long shot. They were a B-cup at best. He still treasured them though, beginning to grow used to the feel of the flesh in his palm.

He gently massaged the mound, moving his other hand to the other breast, starting a rhythm. He gently kissed her again, her arms sliding underneath his head and wrapping around his neck. As her kiss gained intensity, so did Eddy's massaging. Lee pulled back a bit and groaned as Eddy placed his mouth over one of her rosy nipples, his tongue playing with the hardening bud.

He shifted his body so that he was facing her, still connected to her. He was a bit shocked when Lee gently pushed him away from her, her breathing a bit heavy. She then made her journey down his torso, enjoying the smooth skin and the small chub that left a bump big enough to push her finger down into without really hurting him.

When she did end up playing with his belly, he cleared his throat in annoyance and embarrassment. Lee grinned, playing with it more.

"Aw, is Tator Tot embarrassed of his cute little belly?" She giggled, her voice mockingly high, as if she were talking to a baby. She even gave him a raspberry, which made his body jiggle with his childish laugh.

"Lee, cut it out!" He chuckled. "Come on, this isn't the time for that!"

She gave up, letting him go.

"You're lucky I'm feeling merciful tonight, Little Eddy," Lee murmured. She was a little surprised when he gave a grin at his nickname.

"Baby, you're gonna regret calling me 'little' by the time I'm done with you," Eddy growled, lust apparent in his voice. "Now, let's get down to business, shall we?"

Then, without warning, Eddy stood up on the couch and yanked down his boxers. Lee's mouth dropped at the sight of "it," which she was surprised by. It wasn't huge or anything, but she could tell it was slightly above average, maybe by an inch. It didn't stop her from drooling.

With a devious smirk, Eddy laid her back down onto the couch, kissing her again, their tongues having a rough war that was just fine between the two controlling them. As he was busy dominating Lee in this way, he then managed to slip off her panties without her noticing. She wasn't really too shocked; the man knew how to pickpocket, why wouldn't he know how to get off a silly pair of underwear?

After letting him take the wheel of control for a bit, Lee then decided to dominate him again, pinning him down a third time. She then snuck her hand down his body, gripping his length, which made him groan. She then took her sweet time stroking his joystick, which made him hold onto the sides of the couch for dear life. At this point, he had been ready for her for quite a while now.

However, her just dragging it on and on and teasing him relentlessly obviously gave her the sick pleasure of power she had over him when they were middle schoolers. He even thought back to her sneaky ass somehow getting into his shower drain. He actually remembered wishing she would do _something_ other than just kiss him. Then he thought about how sick of a kid he was.

Then he snapped his mind back to what was happening right then, because Lee was finally pushing him inside of her. His mind cracking, he threw his head back and bit his tongue as hard as he could muster, to keep from just screaming. Lee had to bite her lip as well, but in pain instead of pleasure. She had never had sex before, and just the tip was enough to hurt her a bit.

Sensing something wrong, Eddy swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at her with concern, putting his hand on her face. Leading her to look at him, he was able to really look at her.

"Hey," Eddy said, his voice wavering a bit, "you okay? It doesn't hurt, does it?"

Lee wanted to shake her head, but she nodded anyways. Probably a gut instinct.

"It hurts a bit, but I'll tell you when it's okay to move." Lee said, swallowing hard, almost hurting her throat. After a minute or two, she finally looked up at the anxious Eddy, and nodded.

Knowing it was okay to continue on, he gripped her hips lightly and slowly pushed himself in, earning a few quiet yelps and moans from Lee. When he was all the way in, she was able to feel pleasure instead of pain, moving her hips up and down, riding the man she had loved since she was thirteen. Once she got a full grip on herself and the situation, she sat up, letting her body fall onto him, making him groan again.

"Never thought..." Eddy panted between her riding and his thrusts, which were now aligned, "...this...would ever...happen…"

"Better than you...thought...huh, Tator...Tot?" Lee moaned between her quick breaths.

"Hell yeah...this is...great!" Eddy growled, pushing Lee onto her back, still attached. He took control quickly.

His hips were frantic, thrusting wildly. Lee forgot any pain that had occurred previously, now only feeling immense pleasure and affection for this short little man she had been crazy about for years. While she was enjoying herself, Eddy was feeling himself nearing completion, and only after maybe five or ten minutes.

"Lee...I-I'm close…" he whimpered, biting his lip.

"Me too…" Lee sighed. "Let's do it together…"

Eddy nodded, his ability to speak gone. As they reached their final breaking point, Lee leaned up and kissed him, their last vigorous kiss for the night. As Eddy released, Lee's body quivered with her first real orgasm. Eddy had a bit more experience in this, seeing as he had had practice with his magazines and the tissues on the headboard of his bed.

When they were both done, Eddy slipped out of Lee, and she snuggled her way in between him and the back cushions of the couch. Before he laid down with one arm behind his head and the other around Lee, he grabbed a blanket to cover them, because it was chilly due to their naked states.

Before drifting off to sleep, Lee managed to get some information from Eddy she'd been wondering about.

"So...when did the booze wear off?" She asked.

"About when you took off your bra," Eddy answered, grinning. "I never thought it'd go this far, Lee Kanker, but I can't say I'm not okay with it either."

"Me too." She yawned loudly, burying her head in between the small space where Eddy's neck and shoulder met. Her legs were also very pressed up against her, almost uncomfortably close, but, nonetheless, she feel asleep.

Eddy took a bit longer than her to give into his overwhelming exhaustion caused by what they had just done, because he couldn't think about anything else. He just lost his virginity to Lee Kanker, his childhood admirer, almost stalker. However, she did prove to be entertaining for him sometimes, with her personality almost always clashing with his when he wasn't hiding from her.

He could feel the relationship spawning from this, and he knew it was going to be a rough one.

"Fuck it," he mumbled to himself, thinking of what their future was going to hold. "What happens happens."

_**End of Chapter Two**_

_**(A/N: THIS WAS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO WRITE. I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW THAT I LOVED AND HATED WRITING THIS CHAPTER AND NOW I HAVE TO WRITE TWO MORE. I'M GOING TO CHOP SOME WOOD BEFORE I CHOP OFF THE HEAD OF JAMES WOODS. UGHHHHHHHHHHH)**_


	3. Marie?

_**...Marie?**_

Double D's eyes shot open as a bucket of ice water was dumped on him. He jumped up from the bed he was sitting on and slammed his back against the wall, darting his eyes around the room for the owner of the bucket. His search was quickly ended when he was tackled from the side and pinned against the ground by another being.

"Hiya Double D!" a eerily familiar voice cheered.

"Marie!" Double D shouted, moving his body to lay on his back, fear quickly overwhelming him. "Wh-what? Am...am I in your..." He swallowed hard. "Bedroom…?"

Marie nodded. "Yep! You showed up here a few hours ago with your buddies, damp and in nothing but your underwear. It was quite the sight, seeing you guys sleep on top of each other like that." She laughed to herself, still on top of Double D. "Anyways, we took all of you guys for ourselves. Guessing from the disturbing noises I heard from downstairs, it sounds like Lee got lucky with the shrimp."

Double D's heart pounded in his chest. They got to Eddy? He began to breathe heavily, adrenaline pumping through his veins as his fear demanded he get his friends and get the hell away from these three insane women. However, Marie was now holding the frail boy down by his arms, and it didn't look like she was willing to let go. Forcing himself to calm down, Double D looked at Marie with a hard look on his face, trying not to let his fear show.

"How am I supposed to be sure you didn't kidnap us from our homes?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. "I don't really buy the whole 'we came to you' thing. It just isn't like Eddy to lead us all to you."

"Oh really?" Marie snickered, seeing right through him. "I seem to remember a certain incident where you three became a few peeping toms while we were doing our hair." She grinned maniacally, almost enjoying his fear. "So, considering that, I wouldn't put it past him to show up at our house."

Double D's eyes widened as he remembered finding Eddy's camera and the events that followed.

"Damn…" he muttered, somewhat giving up, but still somewhat afraid.

He wasn't planning on letting his guard down for the girl he knew had been obsessed with him and his friends since they had moved to the trailer park. Swallowing hard, he then changed his stressed out expression to an affectionate one. The grin he gave her was a convincing one, showing his teeth, and even the gap that hadn't been fixed as he got older. Marie eyed him warily, unsure of what his actions meant.

"Marie, I'm sorry for acting so unreasonable before, may I make it up to you?" He asked sweetly, moving his head up towards hers. "Any way at all?"

As she began to become confused about his sudden change of character, then she realized what he was doing, and decided to play along to see how much she could get from the boy she had pinned down. Marie then moved her hands off of his arms and got off of him, moving over to the bed and sitting on the edge of the large mattress.

"Well, I can think of a few things…" she purred, patting the spot next to her, motioning for him to sit down. He did so reluctantly.

"Um...what, persay, do you have in mind, Marie?" Double D asked, trying hard not to let her see his fear. His eyes began darting around the room, avoiding hers.

"Oh, nothing really…" she scooted closer to him and put her hand on his thigh. "Just a bit of a time killer, not much else."

Double D swallowed hard and picked up her hand, dropping it back into her lap.

"Oh, really?" Double D asked, scooting away a bit, then beginning to shake when she followed.

"Mhm…" Marie hummed, putting her hand on his thigh again, grinning when he shuddered. She laughed at the look on his face when she squeezed his leg.

Then, with a yelp of confusion from Double D, she abruptly stood up and pulled him with her with enough forced to almost break his arm. He winced from the pain. He barely noticed that she had him pressed against her. When he did, he shivered, expecting things to turn very bad very soon.

But, for some reason, they never did. She did, however, lean into his ear.

"Let's dance," she whispered, her voice nearly silent.

Double D's mind filled with confusion. His mind quickly cleared when she began to actually, well, _dance._ Her feet made quick. He picked up on the type of dance very soon, which was the infamous tango. Her movements were swift, and he had some trouble catching up.

But, when he did, it was like fireworks going off. He was able to keep up with her quickness with no problems now. He then took control, dipping her and holding her in place between his knees. She was taken aback by this sudden talent he seemed to be hiding.

She stared up at him, her eyes now sparkling with more admiration and affection than she'd felt in a long time. He almost seemed to feel the same way, but just for a moment. He couldn't dare feel that way about this stalker, this oddity, this...beautiful, clever…

He dropped her then, making her fall flat on her back. She cursed and groaned in pain, rubbing the back of her head.

"The hell was that for?!" she snapped, staring at the practically naked boy next to her who was shaking and holding his mouth with his name.

His cheeks were flushed, and he was terribly hot. He needed air, water, anything. Anything to take his mind off of Marie. Anything to get his mind away from the thought of throwing her on the bed and ravaging her…

"Gah! Stop it, stop it!" he muttered to himself, pounding his head with his hands. "You mustn't, you mustn't think that!"

Suddenly he was tackled yet again, pinned to the ground. This time, however, he was laying on his stomach with his arm twisted in the most uncomfortable position behind his back. He hissed from the newfound pain again, and decided against trying to wriggle his way out of it. He had let Marie hit her head, maybe this was only fair…

"Just who the fuck do you think you are?" Marie growled, slightly tugging at Double D's arm, trying to make him scream, trying to make him cry. He just winced and laid flat. She bared her teeth now, leaning down to his ear yet again, pissed beyond belief at his lack of reactions. "Answer me, worm."

"So I'm 'Worm' now, huh? And here I was just getting used to Dreamboat." Double D laughed. He wondered where the comment came from, the confidence behind it.

She leaned back, thoroughly confused now. This young man had alternated between terrified, to relaxed (and extremely talented), to reckless. She wondered if he was trying that reverse-psychology thing again. She doubted it, mainly due to the fact that he wasn't trying to smother her, he just….didn't care.

Marie groaned and let go of Double D's arm, but she didn't get up. He didn't make any type of movement to get up, but he did move the arm that had been on his back. He laid it under his chin and sat still again.

"Can you just act like yourself again?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I want you to be nervous again. It was cute. I don't like this side of you."

"There's a reason behind it, you know."

Marie's eyebrow raised. "And what _is _that exactly?"

"Can I sit up?"

Marie sighed and got up, standing just long enough for him to move in front of her. When she sat down again with her arms crossed, she was startled by the feeling of another pair of lips suddenly crashing against hers. It was a quick kiss, one that left them both reeling from the aftershock. Double D's eyes went wide, waiting for Marie's reaction.

She smirked, then began to giggle. The little girlish giggle turned into an all-out laugh. Double D soon joined in, grateful that the tension was starting to fade a bit. Suddenly, with no warning, Marie kissed him again. And again. She pecked at his lips over and over until she finally decided to just hold onto his cheeks and try her best.

When she pulled away, he was shocked beyond belief.

"...do you know how to kiss?" he asked. She blushed furiously and grumbled to herself, muttering something he couldn't hear. "What?"

"No, I don't!" she yelled. She didn't look at him, feeling the unfamiliar feeling of embarrassment run through her.

Double D couldn't help but to smile at her sudden childishness.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I'd never kissed anyone before, either."

Her eyes went wide. They were each other's first kiss…? She grinned with joy and tackled him -_again_- with a big hug. He was a little shocked, but it wasn't nearly as shocking as...well...everything else.

"We were each other's first kiss! It was simply meant to…" she yawned, "…be…"

After that, she passed out. Double D chuckled a bit to himself, then picked her up and laid her under the covers of her large bed. He laid on top of the blankets right beside her, suddenly wanting to be near her.

Well, it wasn't exactly ravaging her, but it was still nice. And it was fortunately enough to settle the nerves rising up from within him.

_**End of Chapter 3**_

_(A/N: Yup. No smut. Sorry about that. I really don't want to rush sex with these two, you know?_

_I honestly see Marie as the flirty type, but she also is somewhat naive when it comes to experience, mainly from saving herself for Double D. So, I think that, with their combined inexperience, they would take things a bit slower. That way, I can write out the fluffy stuff I'm planning for these particular jerks~_

_Not to mention, I think that they would be the most unpredictable couple, and that Double D would randomly show off some of his other skills. Similar to the out-of-the-blue tango session. I actually had a bit more fun writing that part. XD_

_So, now that I have nothing else to say, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope it didn't go too overboard~_

_I'm sure you guys can guess who's next. X3)_


	4. May!

_**MAY!**_

_(A/N: I am really really really sorry if Ed seems OOC, I'm trying to write in his character as much as I can. I was actually dreading this chapter because I knew he would be hard to write. I just can't get a good grip on his mentality…_

_Anyways, I hope you can enjoy nonetheless!)_

She looked down at his magnificence. His big, stinky, sleeping magnificence. She wanted to wake him, but she didn't at the same time. Somehow, the idea of just watching him in this peaceful state overruled the opposite urge that pulled at the inside of her mind. When she settled into a more comfortable position, which was laying next to her betrothed on the soft grass.

May, the youngest of the three Kanker sisters, wanted to view the stars with Ed, the beloved moron of his friend group, so she wanted to stay outside for the night. As she ignored the beautiful night above the two of them, she focused on the boy beside her. She had dressed them in a big coat so he wouldn't get cold - he had been soaking wet, after all. It may have been summer, but there was only so much warmth to go around during the day.

He then grinned, and her eyes shot wide open. She immediately picked herself up, leaning her weight on her hands, which were firmly planted on the ground. As he sat up, she was overcome with joy. She threw her arms around him and squealed.

"Ed!" she laughed, not caring about any of her neighbors hearing. It may have been the middle of the night, but her Ed was awake. That was all that mattered. "You're finally up. I was waiting forever for you to finally get up!"

"Aw, sorry for that, I was having the greatest dream," Ed's tongue poked out of his mouth as he pictured it: him on a cruise, the boat being nothing more than a gravy boat sailing through a sea of delectable gravy. "Wow, the stars are real pretty tonight."

"Not as pretty as you, Big Ed." May sighed and leaned into her boyfriend.

They had formed a relationship in secret, Ed not wanting to cause a rift in his group with his "betrayal." May didn't want to be torn apart by her sisters for not sharing her man with them. They were happy with the way things were going, albeit they were strange. It was still more than enough for them.

After a bit of silence, May spoke up. "So, did you carry your friends here?"

"Yes, I wanted to see my little muffin," he smiled and pulled her close. She blushed and grinned, her buck tooth poking her bottom lip a bit.

"Well, at least we can make it seem like Eddy did it," May laughed. "He'd only have any strength if he was drunk." She was snorting now, which made it a little easier for Ed to forgive her for insulting Eddy. He still gave her the warning look, though. "Ah, sorry, forgot," she apologized. "I'm still kinda getting used to this."

She then thought about how long it'd been. How long they'd been together. When they'd gotten together, it was on the Valentine's Day of their senior year. He'd shyly given her a crude drawing of him and her, and she wasn't sure what it was drawn with. But she didn't care. She'd given him a big hug and an even bigger kiss on the cheek, emitting a small, dopey laugh from Ed.

They'd been a secret couple since.

"Hey, Ed, do you think we should tell them…?" May began, hoping Ed knew what she was talking about.

"Them? Them who?" He gasped, the intake of air coming in sharp. "Is it the earwax sucking-!"

May placed a thick finger over his lips as he began to shout about some alien race with a shake of her head. "No, I mean _them._" She jabbed her thumb on the opposite hand in the direction of the trailer.

"_Oh,_ right. _Them._" Ed looked down at the ground. "I dunno, I don't want Eddy to be mad at me…"

"Why would he be mad? I've had to listen to him and Lee for a while now. They're real noisemakers."

"Ew! May! That's my best friend!"

"Well, doesn't it kind of give you a reason?"

"A reason to what?"

"_Ed."_

"Oh yeah! To tell them, right?" He grinned, proud of himself for remembering.

May just smiled and nodded. She then decided not to push the conversation any further. They'd tell them when the time was right. Now, there was a new movie they had both seen that she wished to discuss. They had gotten into a quarrel over the ending and how it should have ended.

Ed liked the way it ended, with the alien race taking over and destroying humankind. May, however, thought that the brave hero Smith Jones should have survived and defeated the aliens.

As she brought the topic up, she rested her head in Ed's lap and looked up at him.

"But, May, the Lizard Bandits wouldn't have been stopped, they were a _mighty race_!"

"Maybe, but Smith had also taken out the Antmen just a while back, so why couldn't he kill a few hundred Lizard Bandits? They were so _easy_."

"Nu-uh! They could turn you to jelly with just one look from their beady purple eyes. Smith wouldn't have lasted a single second!"

The conversation continued like this for a while until they weren't really arguing; quite the opposite, actually. They were laughing, and even dancing on the fine line of talking about the movie to creating their own silly story. They loved the imaginations they both shared, it was like they fed off of each other in a good way.

It took a little bit before they were quiet again, the silence somewhat soothing. Soon, Ed was asleep again, and snoring loudly. May giggled at the volume of his voice. She then had some time to herself to think. Again.

It hurt a little sometimes, thinking. She sometimes got headaches. Her sisters always teased her because of this, calling her an idiot and stupid. She was lucky to have Ed. He wouldn't ever call her anything bad. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes, enjoying the soft summer breeze that drifted through the air and gently kissed her smoothish skin.

Yes, she was very lucky. Most girls didn't have the kind of love she and Ed had, where there didn't need to be anything physical, that just being with each other was enough. Of course, it was getting harder to hide from…

She opened her eyes and furrowed her brows, beginning to rub her forehead, wishing the oncoming headache away.

Going back to her train of thought, it was getting a lot harder to hide their relationship from her sisters and the other Eds. She desperately wanted to tell her sisters, to brag that she got her Ed first, that the girls couldn't have him. Of course, she would probably be pounded to the ground, it would still be so worth it.

Feeling another rush of a headache coming on, she opted to fall asleep, and that itself didn't take long. She dreamed of white dresses and sailor suits.

_**End of Chapter 4**_

_(A/N: Mhmm. No smut on this one either. It's just not that kinda night for me. Besides, it was hard enough to write Ed in-character by just speaking, much less thrusting into May._

_Anyways, this one was short and simple because I don't think these two would be too complicated, you know? Just a simple, sweet, pure love with some complications involving IQ levels. Also, regarding the secret-romance thing, I actually think that may be possible. I could be horribly, horribly wrong though. Then I would admit to being a big fat dumb dumb._

_Either way, I hope you enjoyed~_

_Next chapter will be about the day after~_

_Yay! Progress! 3)_


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